Commentary by Harald Homberger
Why do we do Family Constellations?
What is a Family Constellation?
When is a Family Constellations helpful?
How can I prepare for a Family Constellation?
What issues can I choose?
What happens during a Constellation?
Must or may I bring my family along?
My experiences with Harald
Dear reader!
The following page have the purpose to provide you with a general idea of what Family Constellation is and how it is applied. The overview was composed by Renate Wirth PhD.
Renate was my first trainee as a facilitator when I started to teach Family Constellation and the first to pass on what I know about the Movements of the Soul. As a participant, a student, as my assistant in many workshops, and as a practitioner in her own naturopathic clinic. Renate has gathered a comprehensive knowledge and deep understanding of this work.
As an expression of gratitude to me, she gave me this website as a present. Her way of portraying the work is as personal and gentle as it is accurate, and I am happy to be able to use a translation in English as an introduction to our English speaking audience.
Thank you, dear Renate!
Reoccurring problems in our relationships seem to reduce our energy and limit our possibilities to make decisions. They can even cause severe disease.
With Family Constellations you can find solutions in harmony with the Greater Whole and with the ones around you. Life is easier when there is harmony between you and your partner, grand-parents, parents, siblings and children. It allows you to accept life as it is in a more relaxed way.
There is not much we can say about Family Constellation. We can really only experience it. It is just like that. What happens is hard to describe.
During a Constellation, a person has the opportunity to create a mirror image of his or her system of the relationships within the family. Participants are chosen as representatives and placed within the room. Unconscious dynamics affecting our relationships will come to the light. They have the power to influence us in a profound and fateful way. During a Constellation they become visible and eventually loose their negative effects.
Through unconscious identifications we imitate life-patterns of members of the family who lived before us. We take on emotions on behalf of others. This can lead to the utter surrender of one’s self.
With the help of the facilitator and after taking several transformational steps, the old picture of the system can be replaced by a new one. The new healing picture of a resolution has a lasting effect on the soul. The solution is accomplished when a shift on the soul-level takes place, and we can sense a deep connection between ourselves and the Greater Whole. This process may be painful at times, yet we experience it as a great gift.
Family Constellation in a nutshell: The purpose is to see what is relevant. Then we accept what is there, find what allows resolution, and consent to it from within our hearts.
Family Constellation can help
- with re-occurring problems in a couple’s relationship
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- when we have difficulties in committing to a long-term relationship
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- when the emotional relationship with the parents is not at ease
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- when life seems troublesome and personal or professional goals cannot be achieved.
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- when we feel controlled by others
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- when we lack motivation, are emotionally blocked and apathetic
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- when we suffer on a physical level and/or on a level of the soul
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- when we find ourselves drawn to addictions, depression
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- when we are suffering from cancer or other life-threatening diseases
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It is helpful if you can research important and impacting events regarding your family and those who belong to it. Gather the answers to the following questions:
- Do you have siblings who were stillborn, deceased as an infant or given up as a child?
- Did any of your parents loose a sibling during childhood or adolescence?
- Did any of your parents or grandparents have other significant partners prior or during their relationship. Did any children result from these relationships?
- Do you know of any special circumstances in your family of origin? Were there any fateful challenges like disability, adoption, severe disease, fatal accidents, death at childbirth, abortion, suicide, murder etc.
- Was a family member POW, refugee, or locally displaced?
- Were there any cases of mental illness?
- Do you know of a taboo or a family secret?
It is a tremendous help to interview your parents, grandparents and relatives about your family history. Sometimes a family secret can be lifted this way prior to the constellation. An intimate conversation may enable a new sense of closeness. The more information you have at hand, the more helpful the constellation may be for you.
You can still have a constellation if you cannot provide details about your family history.
Since we can trust this process, the movement will take place, and what is important will reveal itself.
In the past decades, the work with Systemic Constellations has undergone various changes and is now being applied in many different areas of life.
In Family Constellations, certain members of the family are being represented by somebody else who is not personally involved or biased. When we address a problem, we don’t look at all the members of our family, but just at those who are relevant for a harmonious solution. We may get insights about our present family and/or our family of origin.
Constellations about organizations allow us to look at systems in the social realm, e.g.
work teams, companies, groups, institutions etc. We can determine the source of the problem and find possible solutions.
This process enables us to look at hidden dynamics and shows us entanglements within a system. We can also gain insights through a representation of diseases, emotions, habit patterns etc.
All participants are seated on chairs within a circle. One chair is available next to Harald Homberger who facilitates the process; it is for the person for whom a constellation is being set. The room is quiet until Harald invites somebody to sit next to him. He will ask about the person’s issue, and inquires about the special circumstances in this family system. Now Harald will ask the person to choose representatives for particular family members from the members of the group and position them in relationship to each other. For example: A participant might select representatives for his father, his mother, his siblings and himself. Now he places them in relationship to each other within the room.
The representatives tune into the moment and observe what they feel and sense. A picture of the relationships within this system starts to surface. Very often it is deeply touching to witness how the system’s energetic field is expressing itself. It sounds simple: The crucial job is to really observe, and then to acknowledge what is. To do this can be painful, and several intermediate steps may be required. Yet only by looking at “how it really was” can we reach a solution.
We can participate in a Constellation without knowing anything about it. Whether or not you have studied the theoretical explanations around Constellations, the process will unfold by itself. There are no prerequisites other than an open mind.
I had never before heard about Family Constellations when I first experienced the work. Nevertheless it immediately triggered a process that now, years later, continues to be beneficial for me. Only later did I study several books about Bert Hellinger and the Constellation Work. First I read “Was die Seele krank macht und was sie heilt” by Thomas Schäfer, then other publications by and about Hellinger and his work. These books offered me new perspectives. Most important however, I was tuned into and open for what came to light during the process.
You don’t need to, yet you may. It is enough of an impulse to set a Constellation for yourself. From thereon you carry a picture of a solution in your soul. The experience has shown that this will eventually have an effect on other family members, even though they had not been personally present.
Again and again I am having surprising experiences in this regard. For example, a sister who had avoided contact with you for many years calls you up out of the blue, not knowing that you had set a Constellation! Or a father who starts looking for his child which he had never met before.
The effects of a Constellation range beyond the sphere of its protagonist. If one constituent part of a system changes, the whole system is being affected. It is possible to bring along a person you trust. This can be of comfort for you, and it may even be very beneficial for the process.
The special workshops on Family Constellation in Berlin/Germany are being held by Harald Homberger. Since 1996, Harald has facilitated more than 3500 Family and Systemic Constellations. About 5 to 6 Family Constellations can be done in a one day setting. Harald did facilitate numerous Constellations in his own clinic for psychotherapy and systemic family therapy as well as in larger health-care institutions.
For several years a special focus of his endeavors had been the work with cancer patients. The wide range of his experiences and his extraordinary ability to find a fitting solution permitted him to help many people.
I was one of those fortunate people myself, and that is why I am telling you my own story here. It is a heartfelt testimony for Harald, and for the amazing tool called Family Constellation.
I met Harald in 1999, when I was hospitalized in the department for cancer patients at the hospital Habichtswald in Kassel/Germany. At the time he was a psycho-oncologic therapist in the cancer department of the hospital.
I was a mess. I had no hair, had neither energy nor confidence. But one thing I had a lot of: anger! When Harald asked me
“What can I do for you?” I frankly told him:
“I have so much anger. An undefined anger, I have no idea against what or why. I would like to work with this anger in a more constructive way!”
Harald listened to me attentively. I had never before met anybody who would listen in such an alert and natural way. He was being totally present. He inquired briefly about events from my history. Then we went to a different room where I experienced, without knowing it, my first Family Constellation.
I had never heard of this method before. I felt I was being touched within the depth of my soul. I felt the great sadness that was hiding behind my anger. A deep sorrow dating back 22 years surfaced in to the light. This revelation hit me totally unexpected.
To look at this truth was going to be the beginning of my path of healing. I am convinced, even if it might sound like an exaggeration: with Family Constellation, Harald saved my life.
Today, 5 years later, I live without metastases. I am working as a teacher and therapist. I have energy and hope, and a vision of a long and wonderful life ahead. Back then, I had lost all hope.
This is why I am so very grateful to Harald: He pushed me towards my personal edge! He introduced me to a path of healing with Family Constellation, a path which I could not have found by ways of using reason or logic.
“The soul follows its own laws” is one of Harald’s favorite quotes. This touched me deeply. Family Constellation is able to make the movements of the soul perceptible. We can literally see them with our own eyes!
Today, Harald is facilitating Family Constellations in many places in Germany and abroad. In 2001, he decided to leave the Habichtswald clinic to fully commit to his work as a facilitator of Family Constellations.
When he asked me last year if I felt like organizing special workshops for him in Berlin, I joyfully agreed! I have experienced Harald’s amazing qualities as a healer, and I have seen how much good is being generated by his work!
Berlin 2002
Renate Wirth PhD
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